Funny Jokes

A is for Adjust. Punjabis will always ask you to ‘Thoda Adjust kaar low ji’

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum. It is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C is for Cloney and it’s not a process for replicating sheep, nor is it George’s last name. It is merely an area where people live e.g. Defence Cloney.

E is for Expanditure. Punjabis are never shy of spending money - the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors: their ambitions are always expanding.

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back,
of course).

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame (If the Grand Prix does come to Ludhiana there’s no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder di Gaddi).

H is for Ho Jaoga Ji, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s rarely going to happen.

I is for Intezaar, and to know more about it see ‘P’.

J is for Jindagi, and if there’s one person who knows how to live life to the fullest it’s a Punjabi.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, Kapoor, etc., the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses (e.g.’Keeping up with the Khuranas’)

L is for Lovely sister of Happy, but unfortunately she almost never is

M is for Mrooti, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N is for No Problem Ji. To find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy…).

P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you, he always says he’ll reach you in punj
mint.

Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslatable into Punjabi.

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Sandy and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in NCR.

T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori chicken.

U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncle-ji’.

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is for Whan  or Whay, as in ‘Whan are you coming ji?’

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations.

Y is for ‘You nonsense’, when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting  spree.

Z is for Zigzag (Please refer to G & M).

Mai kya ji : Have a good day  Ji!

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chandigarh . Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone.You can
never see her without her fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya’s family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya’s family. (just imagine their love) . Before she passed away shealways told her friends “If I pass away please burn me with my handphone” she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said “this girl misses something here.” Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya’s parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya’s mom…..
Shankar :….”Aunty, I’m coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Priya that I’m coming home today, I wanna surprise her.”
Her mother replied….. “You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.”
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said “dont try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense”.
Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He said… “Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar’s phone rang. “see this is from Priya, see this….” he showed the phone to priya’s family. all of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same person’s (who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his master to solve this matter.
He & his master worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them…
Hutch has the best coverage.
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!