Funny Jokes

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile ! boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears.
Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims ’71st and *again* barefeet!’

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?             
Pull the pin and throw it back.
              
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?               
Run like crazy….he’s got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
I would like to buy this small TV,’ he told the salesman.
‘Sorry, we don’t sell to SARDARs,’ he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
‘I would like to buy this TV.’
‘Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,’ Salesman replied.
‘Damn, he recognized me,’ he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time,haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
‘I would like to buy this TV.’
‘Sorry, we don’t sell to Sardars,’ he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed ‘How do you know I’m a Sardar?’
‘Because that’s a microwave,’ he replied.

A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like ‘Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai’

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, ‘What is that shiny object?’
The clerk replies, ‘That is a thermos flask.’
The sardar then asks, ‘What does it do?’
The clerk responds, ‘It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.’
The sardar says, ‘I’ll take it!’
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks, ‘What is that shiny object with you?’
He said, ‘It’s a thermos flask.’
The boss then says,’What does it ! do?’
He replies, ‘It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.’
The boss said, ‘Wow, what do you have in it?’
The sardar replies, ‘Two cups of coffee and a coke.’

“A wife is someone who stands by her husband through all his troubles. He would not have had .. if he had stayed single”.

Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, ‘Oh..we’ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?’
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly
Banta Singh replied, ‘No problem! we’ll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we’ll automatically get developed.’ All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word.
Someone asked him why he wasn’t happy. The surd replied, ‘OH! THAT’S ALRIGHT BUT…WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????’

One sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column ‘Salary Expected’ :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes

How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?
Just a sec, says the rep.
Thank you. says the Sardarji and hangs up.

Do you have color TVs?’
Sure.
Give me a gree! n one, please.’