Funny Jokes

Friend: What are you looking at?
Banta Singh: I know your Password, hee, hee.
Friend: Really? What is it?
Banta Singh: four asterisks!

There were 4 sardarjis in Mumbai. They decided to start a business. They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel. The hotel was inaugurated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day.
A week passed but nobody turned up. WHY ?

B’coz there was a sign at the entrance “Visitors not allowed”

After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their garage. WHY ?

B’coz their garage was on the first floor.

After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew past Church Gate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet
nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY ?

B’coz all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.

All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb an decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole
day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated
itself. The taxi just wouldn’t move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldn’t budge. WHY ?

B’cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He had to get off on station that came up at 4 am. He asked the guy sitting opposite him on the train to wake him up at 4 am and gave him Rs 20 to do so. This guy was a barber, and felt that for Rs 20 the passenger deserved more service. So, when he fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off is beard!
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
His wife said, “What’s the matter?” He replied, “The cheat on the train has taken Rs 20
from me and has woken up someone else!!!”

One train which was going peacefully on the rail tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.

At the next railway station the driver was caught. He was found to be a Sardar.
He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks, etc.

The authorities questioned:
“Sardarji are you mad!
Just to save the life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger!?
You should have run over that person.”

Sardarji said: “Exactly! That is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close!”

A Sardarji joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “You fool! Get me a coffee quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded, “You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?” “No”, replied the trainee. “It’s the Managing Director of the company, you fool!”

The Sardarji shouted back, “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?” “No.”, replied the Managing Director.

“Good!”, replied the Sardarji and put down the phone!

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, ‘What’s in the bags?’
‘Sand,’ answered the sardarji.
Iqbal says, ‘We’ll just see about that. Get off the bike.’ Iqbal’s guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
Iqbal releases the sardarji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji’s shoulders, and lets him cross the  border. A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, ‘What have you got this time?’
‘Sand,’ says the Sardaji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the sardarji, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the sardaji, doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a ‘dhaba’ in Islamabad.
‘Hey, Buddy,’ says Iqbal, ‘I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about.I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?’
The sardarji, sips his Lassi and says, ‘Bikes.’

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped yard from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years

A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than 100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter reading reduced to around 30,000 miles so that he could tell the prospective customer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea.

A few weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to dispose off his car. The sardar replied, “Are you mad? Who sells a car which has done only 30000 miles!”